Do you? xx

T3arfoun laiman you hate someone just because of the way they let you love them. Its a mixture of feelings. Many people won't understand. You love them and you hate them, you also miss them but you never want to be with them?

So, I love this guy. And I never want to be with him. He's everything a girl wants. No one is perfect. I'm scared that he'll break my heart and leave me. I wouldn't want that to happen to me. I'm still at a young age and want to live my life. But still his love and keeping him away hurts. It hurts deep inside. People may see that I don't care. I may seem ok. But I'm really not.

Everyone wants someone to take care of them. And I want my someone. I want him. I love him. I dream about him every night. Even if I'm awake, I would just picture him sitting there. He's not anyone. He's not any other guy. He's my first.

I would never want to stay with a guy that would think of me as nothing. He wouldn't appreciate me. Why? Cause I betrayed my parents by talking to him behind their back. He would think that I would betray him too. He's no better than him. He would think of me as rubbish. No guy would marry a girl that used to talk to him (there are options:p). No one knows how I feel. Why wouldn't anyone know how I feel? Does anyone else feel the same way?

M,
Shgad walhana 3alaih, walla ma tadroun. Kalama kan yes7arni w ekhaleeni bas mibtasma. 6ool 3omra ewanisni. Kafi bas ashoufa. Tekfoun mabi ghairaa. La w elomounii feek. Maa7ad e3arfiik. Bas magdar, magdar akamil wiyak. La2anik .. well i don't have a valid reason. But its my reputation thats going to go down. My family that will never trust me again. My heart that wouldn't heal anymore. My friends that would go away. And you're the one that I will never see. Tabeena enkoun mithel ely e7iboun w nafs elwakt yet3atheboun? Akh, ma tadri ena 9ayir w khali9! Tadri inik khathait galbi w khalaitni? w wa3adtny ena 3omrik matkhaleenii. Bas khalaitnii, laish? La w ba3ad ma wada3tny. Adri, adri inik mat7ib ilwada3. Bas ana mo ay a7ad ely 3ashan chethy etkhaleeni wetrou7. Tathkir?? "Entay rou7y, galbi, denyiti, 3ishgi, thikraach ywanisni, 3omri mansach waw3idich makhaleech, wa7liflich akoun wiyach 6ool el3omr".Aaaaaaah, wain hal kalam??

A3az elnaaaaaaas, esma3nii !!
ana malhouuuuff le3youniik
Lil 3ashigeen 3youn nathrat'ha ghair elnas
tegra ma bain lejfoun ma3ani we7sas
wely yelomouni
9a3ba yghayrounii
ahhh, lo yshofounik lo mara b3younii.

a7ibik, 3omri ma nisaitik wala ra7 ansak. Bas so2al?

Do you feel the same way?
Do you miss me the way I do?
Do you love me more than I do?
Do you think about me before you sleep?
Do you..?
Do you?

yours,
S.