is it you? 1

Who Am I?!
I don't know!

Whats the point of staying here, without you by my side?
Remember that phone call?!
At first I was shy. Well, my words were "madri" the whole time. You would just say "tara ma ra7 a9ika ila laiman tsoulfeen".. I would start talking so you would leave me alone. But then I would remember, you're not a friend, not a lover, or even a person I knew. You were just any guy that gave me his number and I was lost, so, you were my guide. "Shno hal lazga?" was in my head the whole time. I would remember my first love and I would wonder where he was. There would be silence and you would say "Ba3ad?" and i wouldn't even answer. You tried your best to win me. But i was just thinking about my past. I would say "ely faat maat" and take that out of my head right away. Cause i knew that my first love would be here, but i didn't know that he wasn't. He was wondering around Kuwait looking for other girls who would impress him. I wasn't good for him? No, he wished I was his wife. But I was too good for him. He couldn't handle me. He couldn't keep me. With all that in my head Mubarak was still on the line. I would hear him sigh but I was too busy thinking of Hamani, who didn't know my feelings towards him. Before he would go off to Egypt he sent me a msg "A7IBICH BKIL MA FEENI" and guess what i did? I deleted the msg and didn't reply. Although, deep inside I loved him. Mubarak? What can I say, he was amazing! Over amazing he was the kind of person that you couldn't describe. He was every girl's dream. But I was no where near his thoughts. He wanted me but i was in a different planet. He wished that I was more but i didn't give him the chance. He asked "Kalamtay mn gabli?". Girls would say no you're my first but I said "I lost count of them" I let him down, I really did. I didn't care how he felt. Cause at that time I didn't know how I felt, or even cared for myself. You want me to care for this stranger? Oh no. Was I proud of myself? Hell no. That was just my way to escape this world. I had no one by myside, literally. Cousins you say? They would push me to do more and more. What was I doing? Doing more than what they called more. Father? Can't start talking. Mother? Ugh, please. Sisters? No way! Brothers? Bullshit!!

Theres more than what you think in Abdulla, Abdulrahman, Mubarak, Mishal, Mishary, Faisal, Fahad, Nasir, Badir, Khalid... Oops not only did I lost count, I also forgot names. Oh well what to do!

Stay Tuned;)

FICTION.


..
More?